rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
