I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
