Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I made him laugh his dick is mine
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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