I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize