I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
