wakey wakey hands off snakey
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
