She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
