party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
