I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
