you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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