I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
