i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize