So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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