Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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