Yo dont text me then not text me
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
