youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
