I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I smell stomach acid.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
