Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
