I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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