Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
and you fell through a lawn chair
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
