Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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