and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
