Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
