Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
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