i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize