Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
