if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
