I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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