you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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