Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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