If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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