I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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