You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
