A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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