Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize