I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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