so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
