Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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