Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
