i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Randomize
