Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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