I think I died a long time ago.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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