im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
