the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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