We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
