The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
