If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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