We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
