oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
