she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
