I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
