Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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