yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
