I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
