I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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