I like my sex mixed with concussions.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Randomize
