You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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