she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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