Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
